5 Joy Tips to Bring a Little Sunshine to Your Day

Joy is a decision. I love the word joy because, to me, it implies action. It’s more active than happiness, which can be fleeting. Living with joy makes you unstoppable. That is because when you choose to be joyful, no matter what your external circumstances are, you become incredibly powerful. You are no longer swayed by whatever is happening in your environment. You are like the eye within the hurricane. Joy takes effort. It requires disciplining your mind.

I used to say that I wanted to build an empire. I had a strong desire to feel safe, secure, to have a big home so I could invite friends and family over for gatherings. I told a friend that it was my dream to build an empire. She lovingly corrected me. “The empire is already within you,” she said. That was a big “Aha” moment for me. I already have an indestructible palace of joy within me. Fortunes may be gained or lost. Jobs may come and go. The excitement from awards, and accolades is fleeting. But my indestructible palace of joy within is eternal. It is there as, as long as I pay attention to it, and work to maintain it.

In this hectic, politically polarized time, where there seems to be violence and greed around every corner, it can be difficult to find joy, if you are depending on external circumstances to make you happy. A Buddhist monk, by the name of Nichiren Daishonin, was exiled by the government in the thirteenth century in Japan. He was banished to a place called Sado Island, where it was freezing cold. He wrote to his followers that the “snow fell and piled up, never melting away.” He was staying in a little hut, where the boards on the roof didn’t meet, letting snow and hail fall inside. There were terrible storms and flashes of lightning. He endured such severe persecution, he wrote: “the chances are one in ten thousand that I will survive the year or even the month.” Yet, he professed that he was “overflowing with joy.” Now that is discipline of the mind.

I’ve studied a lot about joy and discovered that it is really strengthened by overcoming adversity. So, whatever struggles you are going through, remember that these difficulties are helping you polish your life. So let’s exercise that joy muscle! Here are a few quick tips I have discovered to help me strengthen my inner joy so that I can handle anything life throws at me.

1. Rewrite the story. Whenever something happens, our minds immediately create an entire story around the event. That story can be negative, like “things never work out for me,” or positive, “things always work out for my highest benefit.” All we can really control in any situation is our reaction to it. So when you get a flat tire, or your boss writes you up, or your child is acting up at school, pay attention to the story you are unconsciously creating around it. Are you feeling stressed and overwhelmed? Pay attention to the thoughts that are leading you down that path. Then, rewrite that story. Instead of telling yourself the story of “I’ll never get all of this done, it’s too much,” consciously flip the script to “I always get done what needs to be done.” Give it a try and see if it makes a difference in your daily life.

2. Look for the winks from the Universe. As Gabby Bernstein says, “The Universe Has Your Back.” Try to notice the benefits in your daily life. Even if it’s just a convenient parking space that opened up for you. Meet these little winks with gratitude. I decided to do this, and lately, I’ve been noticing dragonflies everywhere. I know that this is a wink from the universe because dragons are my spirit animal. A dragonfly nearly landed on the windshield of my car the other day while I was parked at my kids’ school. When I notice these little winks, it reminds me that things are happening for me, not to me. It’s like the universe and I have a little secret. It allows me to walk in power, with a confident smile on my face. Because the universe is always conspiring in our favor. And if you pay attention, you’ll see the little signs to prove it everywhere.

3. Bring it back to the present. If you suffer from anxiety, as I do, it’s easy to get caught up in worry, and busyness, and all the “what ifs” in life. Whenever I feel my chest get tense, I know I am not living fully in the present. There’s a little exercise my therapist gave me to keep my anxiety in check. It’s an exercise where you identify things in your environment. For instance, you may notice a blue teacup in front of you. Notice the details in the cup. Maybe it has a brown rim and a tea bag in it. Pay attention to all five senses. Notice the way your feet feel on the floor. What do you smell? It is hot or cold in the room you’re in? What do you hear? Notice 5 things in your immediate environment. Focus on the details. Breathe while you do this. Notice your breath. This is a quick way to bring you back to the present moment. All we can control is the present moment. We can’t change the past and we can’t control the future. But I can pick up that teacup, smell the tea, feel the cup in my hands, and allow the steam to warm my nose as I raise the cup to my mouth and taste the flavor of the tea. Ok, now I want a cup of tea.

4. Create a doubt troll. This is a fun exercise you can do to counter your negative thoughts. Assign a silly caricature to your negativity. Let me explain. I have a doubt troll in my head. I was trying to conquer that voice inside my head that tells me I’m not good enough. Does anyone else have that voice inside your head that keeps you up at night replaying all the dumb things you said that day, or last week, or last year? It’s not just me, right? Needless to say, I got pretty tired of hearing this voice spouting negativity on a constant loop. So, I decided to turn that negativity into a silly little doubt troll. He’s tiny and adorable. He has an underbite that points up to his little piggy nose, which makes him snort every time he talks. He grunts and snorts things like, “who do you think you are,” and I just laugh and laugh. He huffs around in my mind, plopping down on his little discouraged troll butt when he can’t convince me to doubt myself. Aw, poor little guy. He keeps trying, but he’s so silly, it makes everything he says absolutely ridiculous. I encourage you to assign a silly character with a funny voice to your own inner negative voice. Have fun with it! And please comment below when you find it. I’d love a good laugh!

5. Redetermine. We all fail. We all make mistakes. It seems like we have somehow made it unacceptable to make mistakes and fail in these modern times. But failing is how we learn. Some days, I am not at my best as a mother, or a friend, or a writer, etc. I have made big mistakes. I’ve had to learn some very hard, very humbling lessons. But my rebound time is getting a lot quicker. I can go from utter failure to “Oh well, I’m still awesome,” in a pretty short time frame; not all of the time, but a majority of the time. It’s all about redetermining. If you fall down, redetermine and pick yourself up again. If you set a goal and didn’t make it, redetermine. Set a new goal. Don’t dwell on it. Set your sights on the next target. And as Samuel Beckett says, “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” Just keep going. You only truly fail if you give up. And we must never give up!

Those are my joy tips! Let me know in the comments if these tips are working for you. And please share any joy tips you have. Have a joyful day, beautiful ones!